continuously

searching for patterns is an avid hobby of mine
that i do

without thinking.
and vietnam has quiet a few habits that i find amusing. usually i find lists a mundane way of "listing" things. but i find it appropriate in this case, and also because im lazy.


01. the use of the middle finger: for pointing, for counting, for directing at something, all except cussing and flipping someone off.

02. picking your nose: they just do it, at any time, anywhere, in front of anyone. im starting to touch my nose more, this may not be good.

03. defining the idea of space: people will shove you, push you, and bump into you normally even if there is more than 2 feet of space near you. they will unknowingly try to get to their pathway, even if its to get past you to see what a group is doing, by bumping into you and shoving you out of the way. no apologies, that's the way it goes.

04. singing: oh dear lordy how the vietnamese people love to sing. in between workshops, in the beginning of workshops, as part of workshops, song and sing are incorporated instantaneously as peanut butter goes with jelly. im still trying to get over the cringe that kinda takes over my body when someone tries really hard to sing-- they all do. (not that they are bad, but ever since i was little i had this sense of cringing that comes over me when people sing in front of me or in public. can't explain it) karaoke is custom, there isnt a saturday where someone is blasting and singing for long hours at a time. troi oi! met khong?

05. the different areas of politeness: although there is an absurd amount of pushing/shoving for my liking i do take a liking to the type of politeness that vietnamese people exhibit especially in their language, and how it shifts depending on who you are talking to. im still trying to get used to this politeness, since i'm just used to calling myself "I," but here i can be a Chi, Co, Ban, Em, Con, and with those 5 identitied i mix them up alot. little kids laugh at me if i call myself something "younger" than them.

I kept calling myself Em (which is a title you use to identify yourself as someone younger) to little kids. they laugh. especially if i "ya" at someone who is younger, which is a formal way of responding to an older person with respect. i'm supposed to say "mmm" to a younger person!


06. the notion of embarrassment: its there, its out in the open, and there is no need to be nice about it. when i wore a helmet while riding a bike, people literally yelled out at me "omg that girl is wearing a helmet" and proceeded to laugh this very hard laugh. this also happened when my bike fell over, more outward laughing and pointing that was very loud. and then i noticed that after losing anything, there needs to be a punishment of embarrassment, but this i enjoyed, since everyone who lost had to do it and it was custom. it was a normalized thing that had to happen, and no one can really say no to it. people just did it. vietnamese people really have nothing to lose when embarrassing themselves this way. yes i disliked it, but im still getting used to this dislike, wondering how people can normalize such a thing.

those are my top six for now. more to add to this "list" later.

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this past three days i went to a training for the Mekong Women's Community Development and Women's Union. They were learning how to do effective workshops and methods of education. it was headed by two wonderful ladies who were very very good at facilitating. something that i was very suprised to see existed in vietnam! oh yes there is hope. there were big pieces of white papers, markers, group discussions, group criticism (constructive), group breakouts, and ICEBREAKERS! and HOW THESE WOMEN CAN PLAY ICEBREAKERS. with way more energy than some college students i've seen. makes me miss the organizing workshop times of college.

quiet inspired i asked them questions on how they got into this type of work, and both went to school for social work. and ended up doing this a few years down the line. one got her masters in the Philippines (wow-hardly ever to i hear about vietnamese people studying abroad in countries other than australia and america)

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i once held this passion that i knew was true, it dwindled ever since, and since then its hard for me to find it again. things become too simple or not clear enough. always thinking about other things, i could never really focus on the now. trying hard more than ever to do so.

lately inspirations have come from people who are able to articulate their self to others. whether this be through photos, writings, and just plain talkin'



currently reading: Sula by Toni Morrison