I've made a few life changes in the past weeks and in the process have disappointed some and for some made them sad. With that said, change is never really easy, it's disruptive, and for some it disturbs their comfort. However, what they fail to realize is that the status quo is discomforting. This discomfort manifests into internal disappointment and sadness which is what I had been feeling physically and emotionally. When the status quo becomes not enough our hearts suffer. In the end, if we disappoint others, but make ourselves happy then it is worth it. Their disappointment doesn't matter. It's relative and you don't need that energy in your life. Never ever should you feel disappointment from others for something that you did not do wrong, for putting yourself first.
Taking control of one's life and ridding the source of negative energy is critical to sustainability.
Mistakes might be made but that is life!
15.11.17
30.7.17
That LA dream.
I recently watched La La Land after hearing so much about it. I wasn't sure what to expect, except I knew that people really loved it, there's some singing, a nod to old time movies, and something about LA.
On my way to Ethiopia, the movie came up on my movie selection list. Delighted, I clicked on it. As I catapult myself at 500 miles per hour, moving farther and farther away from home, to a place that feels like you stepped back into time, the movie starts in a traffic jam.
Traffic jams and Los Angeles are as ubiquitous as crabs and Baltimore. Nice nod. I was fascinated that they closed an onramp to do this scene and wondered which freeway they were on (the 105 and the 110 - as a person familiar with the freeways, I was both fascinated and angry at the same time.) At first, the movie didn't really catch my attention aside from that scene, but my mind was distracted. Towards the middle, as the relationship between the characters began to build I started to pay attention. I ended up crying at several scenes (first off, I was emotional from some other life events) and leaving home for an extended period of time always makes me emotional regardless of how many times I do it. There's a scene where you really feel her pain when she discusses the defeat she feels during auditions and never having a yes. She then uses that defeat to give up and you can hear her as she says that. I resonated with it, having felt the same way. I can see why she got an Oscar for a role that seems so simple. She brought complexity to it in subtle ways and I appreciated her performance.
I also cried in the epilogue scene where the movie shows what could of been had the movie gone with happy scenes throughout the course of the entire journey with the characters. Then all of a sudden. they leave the happy colorful scenes to an abrupt stop into a white studio lot. It hits you that what you're watching isn't real and reality sets in. I watched the movie again after it was done.
On my way to Ethiopia, the movie came up on my movie selection list. Delighted, I clicked on it. As I catapult myself at 500 miles per hour, moving farther and farther away from home, to a place that feels like you stepped back into time, the movie starts in a traffic jam.
Traffic jams and Los Angeles are as ubiquitous as crabs and Baltimore. Nice nod. I was fascinated that they closed an onramp to do this scene and wondered which freeway they were on (the 105 and the 110 - as a person familiar with the freeways, I was both fascinated and angry at the same time.) At first, the movie didn't really catch my attention aside from that scene, but my mind was distracted. Towards the middle, as the relationship between the characters began to build I started to pay attention. I ended up crying at several scenes (first off, I was emotional from some other life events) and leaving home for an extended period of time always makes me emotional regardless of how many times I do it. There's a scene where you really feel her pain when she discusses the defeat she feels during auditions and never having a yes. She then uses that defeat to give up and you can hear her as she says that. I resonated with it, having felt the same way. I can see why she got an Oscar for a role that seems so simple. She brought complexity to it in subtle ways and I appreciated her performance.
I also cried in the epilogue scene where the movie shows what could of been had the movie gone with happy scenes throughout the course of the entire journey with the characters. Then all of a sudden. they leave the happy colorful scenes to an abrupt stop into a white studio lot. It hits you that what you're watching isn't real and reality sets in. I watched the movie again after it was done.
15.1.17
Rusty as it might.
Having traversed several timezones in the past four weeks, Baltimore, needless to say feels strange and familiar. When I have anxiety I tend to fixate over one thing. Right now it's facial maintenance. I've recently realized that I have a bit of puffiness under my eyes and some little wrinkles creeping in. It's okay really, people still mistake me for early 20s.
It is suppose to be snowing but its just this wet winter mix. I don't like those very much, it's as if the weather cannot make a decision, and therefore we get lost in that indecision.
I would like to reflect on my three week trip with my brother and mom throughout Japan and Vietnam but I am not sure what to think of it. Having traveled so much it was nice to hear my brother's comments on Asia. He mentioned that it was weird blending in. Japan is such a nice country to travel through. I spent most of my time traveling sick. Which was strange since I rarely get sick while abroad, I suppose the stress got the best of me and made me ill.
Well I am excited to get back to biking and yoga. I feel more physically fit then I have ever been and it's a journey that's taken a while to get to. Sometimes I am in Baltimore and I feel like I am asking for more but I am not sure what I am asking for. I am here and have been since 2013 which is the longest time I've been anywhere. It is my home base.
It is suppose to be snowing but its just this wet winter mix. I don't like those very much, it's as if the weather cannot make a decision, and therefore we get lost in that indecision.
I would like to reflect on my three week trip with my brother and mom throughout Japan and Vietnam but I am not sure what to think of it. Having traveled so much it was nice to hear my brother's comments on Asia. He mentioned that it was weird blending in. Japan is such a nice country to travel through. I spent most of my time traveling sick. Which was strange since I rarely get sick while abroad, I suppose the stress got the best of me and made me ill.
Well I am excited to get back to biking and yoga. I feel more physically fit then I have ever been and it's a journey that's taken a while to get to. Sometimes I am in Baltimore and I feel like I am asking for more but I am not sure what I am asking for. I am here and have been since 2013 which is the longest time I've been anywhere. It is my home base.
