damn

day 3 of the new year I already broke a resolution.

To write a page in my notebook everyday. I suppose resolutions are meant to be broken. I was never the one to actually follow my resolutions nor keep them. C'est la vie, I suppose. I don't mind that it's broken.

But somedays you just forget.

The night becomes tiring.

And sleep overcomes you.

Seeing that I will still continue to write as much as I can. a page a day.  My mind hardly ever focuses, but somehow I get things done, and things are produced and they last for me. I've kept this blog since July 28th, 2006. My oh my how things have changed. How since 2006 I've grown, and how since 1987 my mind continues to absorb and understand others. Compassion for others.

But still in 2010, my mom's voice and suggestions continues to soothe me. My stomach hurt today. I called my mom to tell her, although I've already taken care of myself (sort of) by drinking 7-Up and taking medicine. But still I call to tell her. To just let her know, in case maybe she has a better remedy. Maybe the remedy is just to hear her. She tells me that she is in Boston Market, with my brother and dad. She updates me about her Las Vegas adventures, and she let's me know about her invitation to an upcoming Miss America show in Vegas with two free buffet meals. I'm excited for her. She tells my dad that I'm excited. He asks in the background when I'm coming back (as a joke that I won't be back for the two buffet meals).

I look at a photo of my mom and dad. I see that they are getting older from my last memory of them. This makes me sad, although their voices on the phone remain the same. the same as I was in college. the same as I was in middle school. the same as when they yelled at me for drawing on the walls. I liked to draw on walls. I've been a person that likes to distant myself, maybe because the distance provides a sense of closeness. The kind of closeness that can only be achieved when you miss someone.

and then green eucalyptus oil consumes me. reminding me that I'm in Vietnam. I go in the morning to eat Banh Uot but I feel like throwing up and only consume half of it. The coffee lady jokes with me and tells me that I only have to pay for what I ate. I laugh because she usually doesn't joke nor does she smile much, I suppose she's taken a liking to me. She asks me what my lanyard is for, I say it's for my keys. She asks if I bought medicine yet for my stomach and I said yes I have. She asks if this is my bicycle and I smile and say yes. Little things like this make me fall for Long Xuyen a little bit more.

---

while watching Juno with an 8 year old in Vietnam

(In Vietnamese)

Kim Hoang: What's wrong with her stomach?

Me: She has a baby

Kim Hoang: What? Why? She's so young!

Me: Uhh yeah...

Kim Hoang: Is that the dad?

Me: No its the other boy that is her age

Kim Hoang: How did it happen?

Me: ... (caught between languages and not really wanting to explain sex to an 8 year old)

Kim Hoang: Did they drink alcohol?

Me: ...no...you know...they just...*make random hand gestures, clap hands together*

Kim Hoang: Oh...ok. I see.