I'm a lazy dancer. When you move, I move with you.

Today is my first lazy Sunday in a very very long time and days where I have no obligations I tend to be creatively productive. And since I know that nothing can be created without trying, I am going to try. And because I believe sharing is caring.

I'm still obsessed with Metric's Fantasies (2009) album after a series of not so fantastic albums for 2010 from returning bands (ahem We Are Scientists, they do put on a great show though kids).  I reverted back to albums of 2009 that I still have not given the time for.  I tend to overlook details such as album and song titles. I usually fall in love with artists and albums after my own personal experience listening to them, not the hype (hispter comment noted). However hype is not necessarily a bad thing, but this is a whole other contradictory blog post to be written later.

So when I tried to look for a song by Metric that I remember from a show I realized I never listened to Fantasies. I recall a fellow biology classmate once said that an artist puts all their efforts into making one album and that he listened to entire albums not singles. Since then I try to listen to the entire album to get it, artists tend to put songs in order for a reason, one song is first because they want it to be, so do them a favor and listen to the whole damn thing. Sometimes I'll "get it" a whole year later.

Metric was the last band I saw in America before I left.  I am severely deprived of danceable shows/good music to the point where I think I have gone nuts. I can truly say that I love every single song on this album.

wishing you could keep me closer

i'm a lazy dancer

when you move, i move with you

-Collect Call, Metric

The following video video really inspires me.  Everyone has their flaws and downs, but getting through your "block" can become one of the most clearest, beautiful things.

Everybody, everybody wanna fall in love.

After realizing that I never listened to Metric's Fantasies (2009), it's been accompanying me for last week or so as I cope with a few things. My aunt from America just left Vietnam so I'm recovering from the mess it left me in haha. 5lbs later, a very tired and sleepy me, I've realized that I have learned how to be really flexible in Vietnam, routine is anything but achievable and perhaps I will never achieve that while I am here. While people come in and out of this country, as I make new friends, miss old ones, and talk to the best ones, I learn alot about the nuances of people and what makes them who they are. Due to the lack of freeways and my ability to drive, my time is spent talking to people or really just existing with strangers.

I'm okay with that, although I can be achingly shy at times. I work at an all women NGO, so I have little to worry about in the boy department. Anyways, I tend to stay away from that in general, knowing my tendency to be easily smitten. My emotions I can't control, but who I interact with I can. Distance I can do, but closeness is hard for me.

The future is scarily coming around the corner, and before I know it I'll be back in the states trying to make something of myself. I may return to the states in December and I really really look forward to that. One week in the lovely Bay and then two weeks for SoCal although I detest it.

My thoughts awkwardly float around my mind all day long and then at night too. They want to get out and become something but can't, instead I'd rather daze out into imaginary situations and reliving things of the past, it seems easier. I've been sleeping alot or feeling sleepy in general. This past weekend I somehow made it to Tra Vinh to visit my wonderful confidence boosting friends Linh and Thy who tend to smother me with so much love that I don't know what to do with myself if I didn't have a dose of them after two weeks or so. Linh is from Iowa and Thy is from Wisconsin (SO COOL). There is something very curious about the midwest and how individuals grow, interact, and shape their identities that intrigue me in general. Actually anything outside of California makes me curious in general.The landscape in which we develop and shape our minds cultural changes and its different.

Anyways, after a few bus exchanges and nice xe om drivers, my mood lightens. When xe om drivers are nice and trustworthy I conclude the place is nice. The xe om drivers didn't rip me off nor were they creepy so I concluded that Tra Vinh was a very nice place.  I have a general distrust when I first travel anywhere, until I understand what is going to occur, until I know what things are suppose to look like and how things run I  become comfortable and at ease. Tra Vinh is approximately 5 hours away, I had to take the bus from Long Xuyen to Can Tho (1.45 hours) then from Can Tho to Tra Vinh (3.5 hours).

The harsh sun tires his wrinkles. They collapse and try to hide but can't. Instead his skin retreats into dark bitterness.  I stare out in front of me with a religious sticker staring at me. This is the same image of a lady that hung on the rearview window of my dad's truck. It is the same lady that stared at me when I looked at my rear view mirror. I didn't know her significance but I just knew she was a lady. My dad took it off after a while saying that it hit my window too much and obstructed my view, yet, he had originally put it there to protect me. She stares at me and I hope she will protect me.

I stare out the window and see a women with no teeth pester a driver. Her small demeanor is defeated as she runs and  kicks the nose of the van and starts hitting the driver. I notice they're laughing, he throws water on her, unable to physically hit her. She yells in the screeching Vietnamese voice that occurs after too many years of yelling. Or maybe it just comes with the beating sun. The heat gets to me and I sit uncomfortably in my seat waiting for it to be 9:00 am so the bus can get going.   Although I am doing anything but moving, the heat is tiring me and all I want is the breeze from the window to come by. She stares at me. I try to let my thoughts wander as buses grumpily arrive at the bus station xe om drivers and others run to the bus and yell a myriad of things, locations, questions, xe om offers. I don't really get to see Vietnamese people run too often I was entertained. 

Because this was their life, I was interested. The bus station was their life, it was a microcosm for their memories, laughter, and friendships. Bus stations hold a general distrust, with people coming in and out, and the dirt clinging to anything it can.  For some this was all they knew and it pulsed in conjunction with theirs. I looked at our driver. He has a few "wisdom" moles. The driver's eyes are no longer dark brown, as if the bitterness retreated and no longer cared to remain. He lights a cigarette and starts the car while she stares. 


Now I leave you with a link to my friend Donna's new website. I admire her as an artist, awkward lovable friend, for her diligence and I don't know her overall inspirational badass-ness to get her creativity out for the world to see it. Hopefully I can do that too one day.

No, it's not that I don't have time but rather I am in a constant state of imbalance.

Imbalance. That's a good word for it. In the slew of the disroutine life that I live due to a combination of procrastination, wandering thoughts, and family I have done a very bad job of focusing on my objects of affection: music & art. Although I've always loved these two things because I can do them rather mindlessly and enjoyably and somehow they always returned to my life even in the midst of change.

During this time many albums have come out, actually I believe in the last few months that I have not been able to give my full attention to particularly: Arcade Fire's The Suburbs, We Are Scientist's Barbara, and Chromeo's Business Casual. Lykke Li will be coming out with a new album as well. Not including the slew of new things that are consistently popping up in our informationcrazed generation. And as a result I've been not feeling the spark in these albums as I try to listen to the music while working on some grant proposal. My hands hurt. I think the combination of listening to work and music doesn't work so well.

I've always taken a long time to warm up to albums. They have to hit me at a certain moment. I've had metric's albums in my ipod for over 2 or 3 years before I was like these folks are pretty damn awesome. Time it takes.


Okay, I'm going to find balance now. Be back soon. Until then my draft box, notebooks, and books remain incomplete and hidden.