Randomosity at 32

Oh yes! Wow.

Time flies and suddenly I am 32.

I was just reading my posts from when I was 27. Right before work really changed me and messed me up. 5 years later I’m not sure if I’m better but maybe I’m more hidden. How inhibited I used to be in my writing. It was my one avenue out.

In my stream of consciousness writing I asked a lot of interesting questions about life and reflected on who I am.

I am more complacent now, going through the motions of life. Sort of washed out in my emotions. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism I built around my sensitive heart. I’m such a kind trusting person, people exploited that and I am not sure if I can trust so foolishly as I had before. The world is a weird place. Full of wonderful ups and horrible people.

Focus on the good, cos that’s what’s going to uplift you.

I wonder if work can ever truly be 100% enjoyable. It’s hard to have it all, it’s built overtime. Create and push for what you want. No one else really knows that. My journey is my own.