I talked to my grandpa today.

He's always really happy to hear from me. Grandpa always is. He recounts his journey to New York for me, when I ask him where he put his photos. He talks a bit about flying on Air France to New York, and living in Straten Island with 7 children and my grandma. 

She wore two pants and two shirts. It was so cold. Everyone already started school. But then my friend invited me to see California. I went to long beach and ate crab. I was there for 15 days, and when I went back to New York I moved my whole family to California. I picked up the entire family when I went back and we hopped on the greyhound bus for three days.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

with silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

He mentions to me how he liked the poem that's written at the base of the Statue of Liberty. He said it in Vietnamese to me, it sounded more beautiful that way - something like "Let's give a home/refuge for those that seek it/ to the poor." Grandpa climbed all the steps to the top of her head. I said I did that too, but then he said back then there was no elevator. It was nerve racking, climbing those stairs.

I climb stairs. I climb stairs almost every day in my house in Long Xuyen. I never had stairs in my house growing up. When I was little I really wanted a two story house with stairs so bad. I don't know why. I suppose it was more so I wanted a perfect looking house just like on Full House. A one story house was not a perfect looking house.

"Mama, why didn't you buy a house with two stories? I really want one."

"You can't even keep a one story house clean, how are you going to clean a two story house?"

Inquiry curtailed.

I then wonder for a quick minute what would of happened if my mom stayed in New York. What would happen to me? What kind of person would I be? Then I realized that I wouldn't exist. Seeing that my dad was at the bus stop in California waiting for my mom.

"Yes your dad was waiting at the bus stop! Then shortly after they got married" Grandpa chuckled. And then the thought that a simple three day move to California was the reason why I exist in this world came to my mind.

My existence, based on many things of course, is seeped in migratory movements. Maybe that's why I was born to move and not be in one place.

My dad of course kept us moving, I mean I lived and grew up in southern California, but we saw a lot. We traveled a lot in a car.

Maybe that's why I find comfort in staring out of a window of a moving vehicle. I've been doing it all my life.

Now as I look into graduate schools, and my next "move" in life, I'm looking into schools in the East Coast, because that's where the top tiered public health schools with a strong global reach are. California for some reason isn't so appealing anymore.

My ten year old cousin James wanted to talk to me today. My grandpa babysits him. He cries "I am soooo bored." Sentences that I know very well. He proceeds to ask me about how I deactivated my account on facebook. I said that I had Jeffrey my brother change the password so that I can no longer sign on. "Ohh so you can't go on to play, facebook is boring these days."

He sounds a bit washed. It was as if it was more than just boredom that had overcome him. It was something else, a sense of sadness in his voice. Sleepy suburbia southern California does that too you. Your imagination can get lost among concrete and stiff houses. Red lights. Green lights. Strategically plotted plants. Closed doors. Trash comes every Sunday, nothing else different. Weather monotonous.

"Why don't you go to the library? Ask grandpa to take you to the library"

"No I don't have a library card"

"You know you can get comic books at the library"

"Really? Eh its okay, never mind I don't have a library card"

I wonder what he thinks that I do. I look forward to spending more time with him. I think it will be a lot of fun to teach him a few things about life. People can only learn what they know. He's at a pivotal age where his naiveness is still held within him and I don't want him to lose that to computer games.

James, front and center, Rebecca (James favorite cousin) and Nick (the cousin that likes to ask all the other cousin who their favorite cousin is) - This was on my birthday in 2009. I'm not sure why I have the same face in all the photos?

---

The other day someone asks me "What I want to do, and why I wanted to study for my GRE's" Having not been asked that yet by anyone, I was actually a bit taken a back and blurted something out about battling human trafficking through a public health lens.

"You gotta do law then. Get a law degree"

Interesting. Then I went into a famboozled state of mind because I hadn't thought about that yet. I talked to him about wanting access and power in order to really make change. I mean I am making change, but it doesn't come as easy nor is it "highly respected"

I'm not sure what I am aiming at, all I know is that I need access and power in order to really have control over where resources are allocated. After freaking out a bit, dreams slightly crushed I began talking to my friend Sally. I realize that even with some sort of assumed "power" - which many lawyers have, it may not be used effectively, nor will it necessarily mean you'll use it for good. 

At the end of the day, as my boss would begin her sentences with, we really just eat, sleep, and function. Human beings want to feel good about themselves. I think everyone is born with a certain amount of "goodness" in them. It can easily be washed away, stored, or reduced with a series of life events. Now whether one allows that goodness to ever flourish or surface again is also dependent on a series of life events. 

I've gotten to where I want to be by following my own path and not listening to others. My grandpa still loves me. Might as well keep going at it.