My brother and I claimed our territory of food and drinks particularly the processed chemical filled sweets and drinks. My mom would only buy things with coupons so this made these type of treats really really rare.
Sunny D. Jeff and I loved our Sunny D. The pack came in 6, so we would divide three and three. One day, being the great older sister that I am I was like "fuck it" and drank a 4th one. All hell broke loose.
"KIIIIIIIIMMMM DID YOU DRINK MY SUNNY D?"
"Ummm..."
"WHAT THE HELL MAN! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!"
My brother held that grudge for a long time so much that he held my Sunny D thievery against me as much as he could.
The last slice of pizza
You drank my Sunny D.
Fine.
The last piece of steak
You drank my Sunny D.
And it went on like this for years.
Even when it came down to these mini yogurt drinks. They came with 7 in a pack. How do we divide that you ask?
The final mini yogurt drink:
I'm going to drink half of the last yogurt drink!
No let me drink it first.
No way I'm going to drink it.
But you always drink more than half!
Whatever.
You drank my Sunny D.
It was always about "being fair." And by fair that meant we divided everything by half. Of course perhaps he clung to this because I was never fair myself. I was pretty mean.
You're stupid.
STOP CALLING ME THAT!
If you don't do this I'm going to tell mom that you (insert something trivial).
STOP BLACK MAILING ME ALL THE TIME!
Stop eating your toothpaste. There are ants in it.
Your music sucks.
Today my brother doesn't listen to me anymore unfortunately. In fact, he's learned how to block me out completely and very well actually. I mean I never did a thing to him.
I've been present in all of my brother's major accidents in his life (Except the time he cut himself carrying a mirror hah!)
When I was five and he was a baby my dad told me to watch him a bit as he ran inside the house to get something.
Jeff falls down.
I laugh really really hard.
Then I notice that Baby Jeff is bleeding profusely from his head and I freak out instantly calling my parents.
I'm in trouble.
We were jumping on the bed for fun.
Jeff falls down.
I laugh really really hard.
Then I notice that Jeff can't move at all and is laying on the floor crying. He fractured his collarbone.
I'm in trouble.
He's brushing his teeth in the restroom.
HEY JEFFREY! (opens door really fast, slams into his foot)
Jeff falls down.
I'm in trouble.
Jeff is hiding under my blankets to scare me.
I run into my room scared of ghosts and leap really hard into my bed.
Jeff cries.
I'm in trouble.
I see some patterns.
My brother and I would do stupid things together. We spent hours on our beds rolling ourselves into our blankets like tacos. That was pretty fucking entertaining actually. One time my brother got stuck.
KIM I'M STUCK!!!
I laugh really really hard.
HELP!!
I continue to laugh really really hard.
I'M NOT KIDDING!!
I just saw a Sunny D commercial and realized how ridiculous it was that we fought over high fructose products. If you take away those products, my bullying, and Jeff's medical bills, what you will find is two kids trying to make sense of the world. Even today I actually get a twinge jealous inside if someone has a bit more than me (smarts, money, beauty, sunny d), something in my brain reverts back to my child self, thinking, "that's not fair, they get more than me" Then I let that pass and realize that I'm an adult and can handle these things. I'm learning how to be giving.
"Being fair" was so simple back then, just splitting things in half. Today notions of fair comes in different forms.
I didn't get admitted to that school.
That's not fair.
I didn't get that job.
That's not fair.
She's prettier than me.
That's not fair.
Not fair not fair who cares.
Keep it simple folks, as my 5 year old self would say "split it in half"
1 comment:
That sounds like me! I would always end up hurting my sister - except she would be the one getting in trouble, not me. Yeah, she'd be hurt AND in trouble. :P
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