This Valentine's Day I'm going to not be scared of myself.

With the inauspicious date approaching, I brainstormed a myriad of ways to not be by myself both literally and figuratively.

Hang out with friends.
Watch a movie in my apartment.
Drink wine.
Go to a bar.

Like all Friday nights, I try not to be by myself because I fall into what I'd like to call a Lonely Friday Night Spiral. It's the fact that whenever I stay in on a Friday I get pretty sad and lonely. Then I start thinking about the things I don't have, the things I want, and my mind wanders to thoughts of wanting to settle, wanting to find the one, and self deprecating thoughts of how much of a loser I feel.

Well fuck that.

On one of these nights, I asked myself: Why are you so scared to be by yourself?

Where is my self contentment? Where is the love for myself? Where is that all knowing happiness that one gets when all is good? Why does it have to come from another? Can it truly come from others?

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I'll spend Valentine's day with friends yes, I'll maybe do some art and send them to friends! That sounds like a good idea.