As anxious as I am, I feel really good for some reason.

Repeat photo: My street that I live on. The sun was funky that day.

Lately, or when I've been in the office too long, I get a tad anxious about life and living it.

I think images reflect a lot on peoples inner feelings, which is why blogs, facebook, and other social networking media things are really addictive. I admire people for being able to paint themselves in a way for the public to see.

It's like a little show. I think Olivia Lo, a fashion blogger that I follow, does a damn good job of it, yet we all know this barely 18 year old girl living in the suburbs of southern california spends more time editing photos of herself than outside. This is not to say that she doesn't produce beautiful work. It's beautiful and she has great fashion sense.

Nothing comes easy and I need to constantly remember that. I forget what it's like to work hard towards something. I feel like I haven't done that in so long. I was a straight A student in high school, I call that working hard. Working hard like there was no end in sight, working hard because that is all that you know.

Any type of work or anything you see that is beautiful takes a lot of work, beautiful products aren't born necessarily. I feel a change coming, it's been raining a lot. The rain reveals.

I enjoy opening umbrella's indoors. Legit.

I had a conversation with my aunt today over dinner, she asked me how I was. I said I was "S-tress" as the Vietnamese pronounce it, there is no direct translation of "stress." She then told me something along the lines of "You should try to split it up" in Vietnamese. I misunderstood.

"Split it up? What do you mean? I can't, my work is my own"
"No, like, tell others about your stress, so that you don't bottle it in"
"Oh..."

I didn't even realize it, that I bottle in my feelings a lot. Today, I was frustrated at this report I have to start, that I just went to take a nap. Kids do that you know, when they are really emotional or frustrated or sad, they deal with it by sleeping. That's why you will see kids fall asleep after they cry really really hard. It's freakin' exhausting man.

Speaking of exhausting, here are my 35 mm photos from my one day in Korea and a week in Laos. I'm going to bed now.

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Vietnamese homes don't really have a living room. In fact its usually a two to four story home, that's pretty narrow. The bottom floor is usually used as a storefront business. The other floors are rooms, etc. I suppose this is why a kitchen is what brings a Vietnamese family together. The kitchen is our living room. The kitchen is where love is shared.

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A bat flew into my room last night at 1:20 am. Strange because I just got into bed, after deciding to stay up that night despite having Vietnamese class at 8 am in the morning (I canceled my class, because I woke up with a big headache). My headache started around 11 or midnight, and it's still lingering. I suppose its because I went a few days without drinking water, I hate water. But when my headache started, there were several things going on, my staff member's brother just received news that her brother was in the hospital in Saigon, Burma was struck with a 6.8 earthquake, and for some reason blogger was letting me post photos at lightening speed (hence, the 35 mm photos). It was a strange night to begin with. I didn't study for my GRE's and was g-chatted by friends who I hadn't talked to in a while. There was something about last night that I needed to stay up. 

When I shut the lights, I heard a lot of noise, like there was something in my room. Thinking that it was the birds who've made a home in my ventilation fan, I tried to ignore it. I realized that the birds usually only make noise in the day time. Then I heard it again. I happen to have a flashlight in my room, since the night before it was raining so hard, that my electricity started to flicker, so I got scared and went to get it from the supply cabinet downstairs. I happen to have the flashlight with me.

I heard it again. So I reached for my flashlight, and flashed it at the wall. I see something flying back and forth very quickly. I go turn on the lights, and it goes crazy! And I go crazy! And run out of my room shutting the door behind me. I wake up My Kim, a fellow volunteer.

I stand at my door for a while, scared to open it. My Kim comes and helps me open the door with mosquito racket in her hand. Then its gone. I decide to sleep with the lights on, since I think bats are scared of lights.

It was a strange night. A really strange night.

On my way to Saigon this weekend, this time with no purpose really. I think I need to get out of this house and I would like to watch a movie.