I've been on a roll with these lessons, realizations, things on my mind pizazz while I am here in Vietnam, so here it goes:
- I do not believe you can change people and their habits by merely telling them to.
- I do believe that being the way you are may just be the way life is.
- I think that people can better themselves, but only through their own experiences, not yours.
- Mistakes are nice. Disaster may be even better, because when you survive then it shows that it wasn't that bad in the first place.
- Life won't get any easier - so why not do what you like?
- Age has nothing on maturity.
- I am really really bad at idioms. The above sentence probably doesn't make sense.
- Don't expect to receive if you don't give.
- Taking things personally will not get you anywhere.
- Meeting me may fortunately or unfortunately be nothing like the way I write; depending on who you are.
- People who think they are all that, actually aren't.
- People who don't think they are all that, actually are.
- Coffee makes me feel passion sometimes.
- I don't like to force anything on anyone.
- I won't really try to get to know you because I already have enough trouble trying to get to know myself, unless you feel like getting to know me. I really appreciate those who try to get to know me.
- I realized that a place means nothing without the people, it's all about the people you meet. Buildings can't feel.
- Some people are idiots.
- Some people really do deserve a second chance.
- I've seen adults talk about love as if they were my age. With that came the sudden realization and shock that love isn't what I thought it would be when older.
- Rude, immature people are very hard for me to deal with emotionally.
- I like people who genuinely laugh at me. Only I can tell.
Chi Anh, who is a board member of Pacific Links Foundation, recently gave me this book by Andrew Lam, called East Eats West. I just read a few of his short essays and I really like it so far, especially this line:
"A radio commentator and a writer, I am a traitor now to the old ways, for my medium is the written word, and my playground is the public forum onto which my private passions spill. The written words are my songs."
This quote speaks volume for my seemingly lasting search for my "medium" which I realized in February. I had a chance to meet the author when he was in Vietnam with PBS Newshour filming our organization.
I realize I get to meet lots of pretty cool people here that I probably wouldn't get to meet otherwise. The other month or so I shook hands with Dustin Nguyen, from 21 Jump Street. I held my excitement in pretty damn well, especially since his last Vietnamese movie, Canh Dong Bat Tan (Floating Lives), made me cry my eyes out and is one of my favorites during my time here.
Also, I may meet the author of the book Canh Dong Bat Tan in her hometown in the rural areas in Ca Mau in the Mekong Delta, where she resides despite her fame! Legit.
I meet so many rich characters and people here, so full of life that they don't even know it. Today I went to go eat Pho at my usual place a block away from the house. I haven't gone in a while, since I don't like to eat out too much. They know me, and every time I go eat there, I bring a new friend. It makes it seem like I always have new friends. The man said I looked fatter, which I thought was rather sweet.
Comments about my weight are what I like to say very Vietnamese compliments - the kind you give to people so you know that they remember you, that they remember what you look like, and recognize you. It's their way of saying "How are you doin'? In a very genuine way... I ask his wife for some coffee, but she doesn't have condense milk. And I make a sour face. She then asks if we want her to order it for us, and we say yes. She goes across the street to call us coffee. The coffee lady knows me too. Her rough face is disrupted by a big smile. "Where have you been?? I haven't seen you in so long?!" It's a question I know well and get a lot from people around here. I disappear for days and months at a time. Basically, I don't come out to get coffee. I tell her that I've been working a lot, and that I go to and from Saigon and Long Xuyen too much. I smile really big.
They share with me things that I take with me, from a small conversation to a seemingly minute gesture, all of it adds up to an amazing experience in Vietnam. I never ask too much from people. Well, in fact I never ask anything of anyone, something my dad has unknowingly taught me, to not trust anyone for anything. I like things the way they are. Floating along, undisrupted by my presence. In the end, we'll meet if time allows us to, our lives will intersect, and things will come together just as they do for me now.
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Very few of us live in the present. I mean if our mind is allowed to choose between the past, present and future, why would it want to stay in one place? Unfortunately, our bodies can only be in the present. Our souls, dreams, and desires on the other hand are able to transcend the limitations of the real world.
Sometimes when I meet or hear about extremely materialistic people, who really are creatures of their own sort, I wonder how they came into existence. How a person, a human being can find happiness rooted in a Louis Vuitton bag. Surely the bag isn't very warm. It's not that nice, in fact it's probably a bit rough, cold and hard. Maybe they're just a really awkward person. Maybe the Louis Vuitton bag is like their imaginary friend that makes them feel good. An adult imaginary friend manifested in objects.
"Isn't this bag so cute! I am so in love with it!!"
"In love with it?"
"Yes!!"
"Jesus, I've never uttered those words to a lover, let alone a bag"
This is how I feel about the iphone. Another adult imaginary friend. It feels good to get recognition from tweets and facebook likes doesn't it? Feels good that someone is validating your experience as a human being who spends most of your time staring at a screen (*hypocrisy unfortunately noted as I am typing this). Awkward? Let's stare at the iphone, dance your fingers on it so you look really cool, but you damn well know that you got nothin' on the dance floor.
In conclusion, expensive unnecessary objects such as Louis Vuitton bags and iphones are like I said, adult imaginary friends for awkward people trying to be cool.
Unfortunately for me, since I don't have these objects to hide behind or be my friend, I end up being just an awkward person looking awkward.
And I will end it with that.
Awkward.
P.S. My very very good friend Sally Kikuchi is also not a fan of iphones. However, since I cannot access face book anymore, I decided to google her name to see if I can find an awkward picture of her. Low and behold on a japanese kickboxing website:
P.P.S. Yeah! We don't need no damn Louis Vuitton bags OR iphones. What it do.
I love you Sally "anti- iphone" Kikuchi! (I would vote for you for senate).
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GRE distraction and procrastination accomplished. I write my best during these times.
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