Come to think of it...

Had I never made the leap to Vietnam, had I never been by myself and single for that matter, I don't think I would of fully embraced my experience in Vietnam like I did. I don't think I would of made the relationships had I came back a year earlier or perhaps missed someone back home. I'm not saying that to find meaning that you shouldn't be with someone, but at the same time, it was the fact that I was on my own, that I had the freedom to be with other people, to build with others and to create friendships. My  mind was focused. At the same time, I won't deny love if it comes my way, but love takes lots of energy. In Vietnam, my love was to the country, to the people, the staff, and particularly to the young girls who live in the deep border regions. That was the type of love that made you realize it can be your life's work and dedication. To see where I was to be originally from, where my mom is from, where my dad is from and the rest of my ancestors before they came from China. And as I dive deeper into the connections and research at Hopkins, I'm returning to the roots that brought me here. What I notice more and more from the Professors and faculty is that they are immensely passionate about their topic and what they are teaching. You can truly tell that they love and breathe it. I can't help but want to be focused on things that I think I should be studying like economics and all that jazz. At the same though, what was it that brought me here in the first place? It was the fact that I think all girls especially those in rural areas should have a chance of reaching their full potential. It was their resilience.

And so I trudge forward.

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Now, my parents, including my aunt Mommy are going back to Vietnam and I'm insanely jealous. I LOVE VIETNAM and I miss it so. What I would do to return there and do some work with my favorite people.

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For most of last week, I kept falling asleep with all the lights on. I did this a few times in Vietnam, and perhaps I was so exhausted without my knowing that I flat out knock out in a deep slumber once I decide to lay my body down. This is my admission that I'm exhausted, my mind is exhausted and I must find ways to balance and not make myself so exhausted.